Epi #136. Do these 3 Things to Build Your Special Needs’ Child Self-Esteem

Have you ever been so overwhelmed with your own emotions that you felt distant from your child?

Maybe you were stressed after a long day, and your sensitive child picked up on it.

They became anxious or withdrawn, and you worried that you couldn't give them the security they needed.

I've been there too.

As a parent, it's tough to balance our own feelings while trying to be the safe haven our sensitive children need.

But here's the good news: there are steps you can take to help your child feel secure, even when you're not at your best emotionally.

In this article, I'll share four practical steps that have transformed my relationship with my own child. 

These steps helped us build a stronger bond, and I believe they can do the same for you.

Let's dive in.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

It's okay to feel upset.

We all have moments when we're stressed, angry, or overwhelmed. Pretending everything is fine doesn't help us or our children. 

In fact, sensitive kids can sense when something's off, even if we don't say a word.

I remember one evening when I came home exhausted and frustrated from work. I tried to put on a happy face, but my son kept asking, "Mom, are you okay?"

He seemed anxious, and I realized he was picking up on my true feelings.

I thought hiding my emotions would protect him, but it was only making him more worried.

When we acknowledge our feelings, we take the first step toward managing them. 

It also shows our children that it's okay to have emotions and that we can handle them in healthy ways.

Next time you're feeling a strong emotion, take a moment to name it.

Say to yourself, "I'm feeling stressed right now," or "I'm really frustrated."

Just acknowledging your feelings can help reduce their intensity.

2. Communicate Honestly and Simply with Your Child

Once you've acknowledged your feelings, the next step is to share them with your child in a simple and honest way.

After that evening with my son, I decided to try something different.

I sat down with him and said, "Honey, I'm feeling a little stressed because I had a hard day at work. It's not because of you. I just need a few minutes to relax."

His face immediately softened.

He hugged me and said, "It's okay, Mom. I understand."

By telling him what was going on, I took away the mystery and eased his worries.

Sensitive children are like emotional sponges. 

They absorb the feelings around them. If they don't know why you're upset, they might think it's their fault.

By communicating openly, you reassure them and help them feel secure.

Try sharing your feelings with your child in simple terms.

You might say, "I'm feeling a bit sad today, but it's not because of anything you did. I just need a little time to feel better."

Remember to keep it age-appropriate and reassure them that they're not to blame.

3. Challenge Non-Supportive Beliefs

Sometimes, our own beliefs hold us back from being the support our children need.

Let's look at some common non-supportive beliefs and how to overcome them.

Belief 1: "I Have to Be a Perfect Parent All the Time"

I used to think that I had to be strong and composed every moment of the day. If I wasn't, I believed I was failing as a parent.

But that's just not realistic.

Striving for perfection sets us up for disappointment. 

It also teaches our children that showing emotions is a weakness, which isn't true.

Remind yourself that it's okay to have emotions.

No one is perfect, and that's perfectly fine.

By showing your child that you can feel upset and still handle it, you teach them valuable coping skills.

Belief 2: "My Child Is Too Fragile to Handle My Emotions"

I worried that sharing my feelings would burden my child or make him more anxious.

I thought it was better to keep everything to myself.

Children are more resilient than we often give them credit for. 

When we hide our emotions, they might feel more anxious because they sense something is wrong but don't know what.

By communicating openly, you help your child understand that emotions are normal and manageable.

You're teaching them that it's okay to talk about how they feel.

Belief 3: "If I Show My Weaknesses, My Child Will Lose Respect for Me"

I feared that if I admitted I was struggling, my child would see me as weak.

But holding everything inside was only creating distance between us.

Being open about your feelings doesn't make you weak; it makes you human.

It builds trust and strengthens your relationship.

Embrace vulnerability.

Let your child see that you have feelings too, and that you can handle them.

This models healthy emotional behavior for them.

Reflect on any beliefs that might be holding you back.

Ask yourself, "Is this belief helping me and my child?"

If not, consider adopting a new perspective that supports both of you.

4. Create a Calming Ritual Together

Having a shared calming activity can soothe both you and your child. It reinforces your connection and provides a sense of security.

My son and I started a simple bedtime ritual.

Every night, we'd read a favorite book and then take a few deep breaths together.

Sometimes we'd listen to soft music or do some gentle stretches.

Even on days when I felt overwhelmed, this ritual helped us both relax.

It became our special time, and she looked forward to it every night.

Rituals create predictability, which is comforting for sensitive children.

It also gives you both something positive to focus on, even when emotions are running high.

Think of a calming activity you can share with your child.

Here are some ideas:

• Deep Breathing: Sit together and take slow, deep breaths.
• Reading Time: Choose a favorite book and read aloud.
• Art Projects: Draw or color together.
• Nature Walks: Take a quiet stroll outside.
• Listening to Music: Play soothing tunes and relax. 

 Make this activity a regular part of your routine.

It doesn't have to be long—even a few minutes can make a big difference.

By acknowledging your feelings, communicating openly, challenging non-supportive beliefs, and creating calming rituals, you can help your sensitive child feel secure, even when you're upset.

Remember, it's okay not to be perfect.

What matters most is that you're there for your child and that you're working toward building a strong, loving relationship.

Parenting a sensitive child comes with its own set of challenges, but it's also incredibly rewarding.

By taking these steps, you're not only helping your child feel safe but also teaching them valuable life skills.

You're showing them that it's okay to have feelings and that they can handle them.

And that's a gift that will last a lifetime.

Take the Next Step: Join my Free Class they can access immediately

If you're ready to deepen your understanding and transform your parenting journey, I invite you to join my free class they can access immediately. 

In this class, you'll learn my Parenting With Understanding system, which has helped countless parents like you.

In This Free Class, You Will:

✅ Learn our signature Parenting With Understanding system to overcome angry reactions and have calm responses during your children's chaos.

✅ Gain an understanding of what you need to communicate assertively with your children so they listen to you, even when you give them a "no."

✅ Know what is needed to raise emotionally healthy children who can face the real world with confidence and self-accountability.

Ready to Join?

Click here to sign up for the free class they can access immediately

Let's work together to create a peaceful, loving environment where your sensitive child can thrive.

You don't have to navigate this journey alone.

Take this step with me, and let's make positive changes in your family's life.

You have the power to make a difference in your child's life.

By implementing these steps and joining our supportive community, you're taking a proactive approach to nurturing your child's emotional well-being.

Remember, every small step counts.

You're doing a great job, and I'm here to support you every step of the way.

Let's embark on this journey together.