Epi #137. 4 Clues Your Child Sees You as Their Safe Space

Ever Wonder if Your Child Truly Feels Safe with You?

Have you ever thought, "Does my child feel safe with me?"

I know I have.

As a mom of 8-year-old twin boys, I've often wondered if I'm giving them the security they need.

Sometimes, I worry if I'm doing enough.

But guess what?

There are clues that show your child sees you as their safe space.

In this article, I'll share four powerful signs that your child feels safe with you.

These clues can help you feel more confident and strengthen your bond with your child.

Let's dive in!

1. They Share Their Feelings with You

When your child feels safe, they'll open up about their feelings.

They'll tell you when they're happy, sad, or even scared.

One evening, my son came to me with tears in his eyes.

He said, "Mom, I had a fight with my brother. It made me feel sad."

I listened to him without interrupting.

I thanked him for sharing his feelings.

By opening up to me, he showed that he trusts me.

When children share their feelings, it means they feel safe to express themselves.

They know you won't judge them.

They believe you'll understand.

What You Can Do:

• Listen Without Judgment: When your child talks, give them your full attention.
• Thank Them for Sharing: Say, "Thank you for telling me how you feel."
• Offer Support: Let them know you're there for them.

Next time your child shares their feelings, pause what you're doing.

Look them in the eyes.

Show them that what they say matters to you.

2. They Seek Comfort from You When They're Upset

If your child comes to you when they're hurt or scared, that's a big sign they feel safe with you.

During a thunderstorm, both my boys ran to me.

They hugged me tight and said, "Mom, we're scared!"

I held them close and said, "It's okay. I'm here with you."

We sat together until the storm passed.

When children seek comfort from you, they trust that you'll make them feel better.

They see you as a safe place in a scary world.

What You Can Do:

• Be Present: When they come to you, stop and be there for them.
• Offer Reassurance: Tell them, "You're safe with me."
• Provide Physical Comfort: A hug or a gentle touch can mean a lot.

The next time your child is upset, open your arms wide.

Let them know they can come to you anytime.

3. They Express Themselves Freely Around You

Children who feel safe will show you their true selves.

They'll laugh, play, and even act silly without fear.

One of my sons loves to draw.

At first, he was shy about showing me his artwork.

He thought I might not like it.

I started sitting with him during his drawing time.

I asked about his pictures and praised his creativity.

Soon, he was excited to share every new drawing with me.

When kids feel they can be themselves, it means they trust you.

They know you accept them just as they are.

What You Can Do:

• Encourage Their Interests: Show interest in what they love.
• Avoid Criticism: Focus on the positives.
• Celebrate Their Uniqueness: Let them know you love who they are.

Ask your child about their favorite game, toy, or hobby.

Join them in their world.

Let them lead the way.

Sometimes, our own thoughts can hold us back.

Here are some beliefs that might stop you from being your child's safe space.

Belief 1: "If I Let My Child Be Themselves, They'll Misbehave"

You might worry that giving too much freedom means they'll act out.

When kids feel accepted, they're more likely to cooperate.

They want to keep that loving connection.

Set clear rules but allow them to express themselves within those boundaries.

Belief 2: "My Child Doesn't Share Much; Maybe They Don't Trust Me"

If your child is quiet, you might think they don't trust you.

Some children take more time to open up.

They might just need a little extra patience.

Create a safe space by being patient and showing interest without pushing.

4. They Tell You the Truth, Even When It's Hard

Honesty is a big sign of trust.

If your child tells you the truth, even when they've made a mistake, they see you as a safe space.

One day, my son came to me looking worried.

He said, "Mom, I broke the vase while playing inside."

I took a deep breath.

Instead of getting angry, I said, "Thank you for telling me the truth."

We talked about why playing ball inside wasn't safe.

He promised to be more careful.

When kids tell the truth, they trust that you won't overreact.

They believe you will help them learn from their mistakes.

What You Can Do:

• Stay Calm: Take a moment before responding.
• Praise Their Honesty: Let them know you're glad they told the truth.
• Discuss Solutions: Focus on fixing the problem together.

If your child admits to a mistake, thank them.

Work together to find a way to make things better.

Limiting Beliefs You Might Have About Honesty

Belief: "If My Child Makes Mistakes, I'm Failing as a Parent"

You might feel guilty when your child does something wrong.

All children make mistakes.

It's part of growing up.

Your response teaches them important lessons.

See mistakes as learning opportunities.

Guide them with love and patience.

If you've seen these clues, take heart!

Your child feels safe with you.

They share their feelings, seek your comfort, express themselves, and tell you the truth.

But maybe you're still worried.

Maybe you struggle with staying calm.

Maybe you find it hard not to yell when things get tough.

I understand.

I've been there too.

Do you want to parent your children without yelling but find it difficult in the heated moment?

I've created a Free Class just for you.

In this class, you'll learn how to break free from angry reactions so you can parent your children with peace and accountability.

Here's What You'll Gain:

✅ Overcome Angry Reactions

Learn our signature Parenting With Understanding system to have calm responses during your children's chaos.

✅ Communicate Assertively

Gain an understanding of what you need to communicate so your children listen to you, even when you give them a "no."

✅ Raise Emotionally Healthy Children

Know what is needed to raise kids who can face the real world with confidence and self-accountability.

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You don't have to do this alone.

Let's take this journey together.

Click here  to sign up for the free class

Being a parent is a wonderful but challenging journey.

It's okay to have doubts and fears.

Remember, every small step you take makes a big difference.

You're creating a loving, safe space for your child.

Keep going!

If you found this article helpful, please share it with other parents.

Feel free to leave a comment below.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

Together, we can support each other on this amazing journey of parenting.

Thank you for reading!