Epi #143. How To Make It Right With Your Child After Losing It

Have you ever yelled at your child and then felt a heavy lump in your chest after?

Maybe you said something you wish you could take back.

Maybe your child looked scared or hurt, and that memory lingers in your mind.

If this feels familiar, please know you are not alone.

This blog is here to help you find a way to make it right with your child after you lose your cool.

We will walk through a simple, caring process to heal those tough moments and rebuild trust.

By the end, you will feel more hopeful, less guilty, and ready to show your child that love and understanding can grow even after mistakes.

Understanding That You Are Not Alone

Parenting is hard.

We all have dreams of being calm and caring all the time.

We read books, watch videos, and plan how we will always use a gentle voice.

But then real life happens.

Your child throws a fit over something small.

Your patience runs out.

You snap, raise your voice, or say something you regret.

Then guilt floods in: "Why did I do that?"

I want you to know that even the most loving parents lose their temper sometimes.

I have worked with many moms and dads who share their stories of yelling, slamming doors, or saying mean words when stressed.

This is not to say it’s okay to keep yelling, but to understand you are human.

Mistakes happen.

You can fix them.

Why Making It Right Matters

When you lose your cool, it can hurt your child’s heart.

They might think, "Mommy is mad at me," or "Daddy doesn't love me right now."

They feel afraid, confused, or sad.

Over time, if this happens a lot, they might feel less safe and less open to sharing their feelings.

But when you make it right—when you go back and show them you still care, apologize, and talk about what happened—you teach them something precious:

You show them that people can mess up but also make things better.

You show them that love does not vanish just because of a bad moment.

You show them how to handle mistakes in a healthy way.

Taking a Moment to Calm Yourself First

Before you talk to your child, pause and calm yourself.

This might feel tricky when you feel guilty or upset.

But taking a deep breath or stepping into another room for a minute can help clear your mind.

If you approach your child while still angry or panicky, it might not go well.

Close your eyes, inhale slowly, and think, "I can fix this."

Remind yourself that you are doing this to help your child feel safe again.

Maybe drink a sip of water or stretch your shoulders.

Once you feel a little calmer, you are ready to talk.

 Acknowledging What Happened

Your child needs to know you are aware of what went wrong.

They are probably replaying the event in their mind, wondering what it all means.

Start by saying something simple and honest: "I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier."

Keep it short and clear.

You do not need long speeches right now.

You just need to show your child that you know you messed up.

By doing this, you tell your child that they were not imagining the hurt feelings, and you respect their experience.

Validating Their Feelings

Children often don't have the words to say "I felt scared" or "I felt sad."

But they feel these emotions deeply.

Let them know it’s okay to have those feelings.

You might say, "It’s okay if you felt scared when I yelled," or "I understand if that made you feel upset."

This step is about letting your child know their feelings matter.

You are showing empathy and care.

When children see their emotions are accepted, they trust you more.

They feel safer sharing their feelings next time.

Taking Responsibility Without Excuses

Many parents fall into the trap of saying, "I’m sorry I yelled, but you made me angry."

This kind of apology hurts more than it helps.

Why?

Because it tells your child that their behavior caused you to lose control.

It sounds like blaming them for your choice of words.

Instead, try this: "I’m sorry I yelled. I was feeling upset, but that’s not your fault. I should not have yelled, no matter what."

This way, you show your child that you own your actions.

You teach them that everyone can choose better words, even when they are upset.

You teach them about accountability.

Reassuring Them of Your Love

After acknowledging your mistake and their feelings, reassure your child that your love has not changed.

This is powerful.

Say something like, "I love you so much. Even when I’m upset, I love you. Nothing will change that."

Children need to know that a bad moment does not erase the love you share.

This helps them feel secure and rebuilds the trust that may have been shaken.

Offering a Better Way Forward

You want to show your child that you are not only sorry but also planning to do better next time.

This gives hope and shows growth.

For example, "Next time I feel frustrated, I will take a deep breath instead of yelling. Maybe we can find a quiet spot to calm down together."

Or ask, "What if next time we both try to talk in softer voices and use our words to say how we feel?"

By involving your child in thinking of a better way, you let them know you value their input.

You also turn a bad moment into a lesson for both of you.

Turning Mistakes into Learning Moments

When you handle a repair like this, you are not just fixing the damage—you are teaching your child an important life skill.

You are showing them how to handle their own mistakes one day.

They learn that it’s possible to say "I’m sorry," mean it, and change their actions next time.

They learn that problems can be solved with honesty, kindness, and understanding.

They learn that relationships can heal.

Even better, they learn to give themselves and others grace, which will help them in many parts of life.

Remembering Your Own Humanity

As a parent, you might feel like you have to be perfect.

But perfection is not what helps children thrive.

What helps them is seeing how you deal with challenges.

By showing them how you move from anger to healing, you model resilience.

You show them that even grown-ups have big feelings and can learn to manage them.

This reduces the pressure on you and makes you a more relatable guide for your child.

After a few times of making it right, you might notice something wonderful.

Your child may become more forgiving when you slip up.

They might become more understanding of your struggles.

They might even learn to approach their own conflicts with friends or siblings in a calmer, kinder way.

This is the ripple effect of gentle repair.

Your home becomes a safer space, where everyone’s feelings can be heard, mistakes can be fixed, and love can shine through.

Facing the Future with Confidence

Now that you have these tools, you can face parenting challenges with more hope.

You know that a bad moment is not the end.

It can be a step towards a stronger bond.

Next time you feel that rush of anger, you can remember that even if you slip, you know how to stand back up.

This builds your confidence as a parent and helps your child trust you even more.

Sometimes, you might want more guidance than a blog post can offer.

You might need a more structured plan to handle stress, communicate effectively, and raise children who feel secure and loved.

That’s where extra help comes in.

I have created a free class to share our signature Parenting With Understanding system.

This system has helped many parents overcome angry reactions, find calm responses during chaos, communicate assertively, and raise emotionally healthy children.

In this free class, you will:

✅ Overcome Angry Reactions:
Learn our signature Parenting With Understanding system.
Know how to find calm responses during your children’s chaos.

✅ Communicate Assertively:
Understand what to say so your children actually listen, even when you say "no."
No more feeling ignored or powerless.

✅ Raise Emotionally Healthy Children:
Know what is needed to help your kids grow up confident, kind, and ready for the real world.
See them learn from mistakes and face challenges without fear.

Imagine This:

• Imagine feeling proud of how you handle tough moments.
• Imagine your kids feeling safer, closer, and happier with you.
• Imagine a home filled with peace, understanding, and real connection.

This can be your reality.

👉 Click Here to Sign Up for the Free Class

Join us and start transforming your parenting journey.

You deserve to feel confident, calm, and connected to your child.

No more guilt and worry, just simple steps to become the parent you want to be.

You messed up.

You yelled.

But you didn’t stop there.

You learned how to make it right.

You learned how to repair and reconnect.

This is what matters: not perfection, but growth.

Your child will remember these loving repairs as signs that no matter what happens, the love remains.

They will see you as someone who cares enough to say "I’m sorry," and "I love you," and mean it.

They will know that even when things get rough, they can trust you.

Keep practicing these steps.

Keep showing up with honesty, warmth, and understanding.

Your efforts will pay off.