Epi #146. 3 Steps to Make 2025 Your Calmest Year of Parenting
Jan 07, 2025
Have you ever wished for a new year where you don’t go to bed feeling angry or guilty about how you handled your child’s meltdowns?
Maybe you’ve tried to be calm, but you still find yourself raising your voice.
Maybe you have a sensitive or neurodivergent child who struggles with big emotions, and you’re not sure how to help.
I’ve been there, and I know the worry.
But guess what?
2025 can be your calmest, happiest year of parenting yet.
That’s right—big changes can happen if we have the right plan.
In this article, I will share a simple, 3-step method that can help you guide your child without yelling or feeling overwhelmed.
This method has helped me, and it can help you, too.
Let’s explore each step, one by one.
1. The Power of a Fresh Start
A new year feels exciting, like opening a fresh book.
We can write a better story for ourselves and our children.
Yet many parents feel stuck.
They worry their child won’t listen or that big tantrums will keep happening.
My Own Story
Ten years ago, I was in the same spot.
My child had big meltdowns, and I felt lost.
I read many parenting books, but I still yelled when I got upset.
I felt bad at night, and I woke up each morning feeling guilty.
Something had to change.
A Simple Roadmap
That’s when I found a plan, a clear way to handle anger, set gentle rules, and bring fun into daily life.
And guess what?
It worked for me.
It worked for over 838 parents in 2024 who joined our programs.
And it can work for you now, in 2025.
2. Step 1: Understand Your Child’s Needs (U)
Many times, our kids cry, scream, or fight us, and we think, “They’re just being bad.”
But every behavior is like a secret code.
It means they need something.
Maybe they’re hungry or tired.
Maybe they’re scared or overstimulated.
When we see the need behind the behavior, everything changes.
A Quick Example
Last summer, my child refused to put on his shoes for summer camp.
He had gone happily all week, so I was confused.
Then I learned they were going to watch a movie that day.
My autistic son is very sensitive to loud noises and bright lights.
He worried about the movie.
So, he avoided camp by stalling.
What I Did
When I realized the real cause, I calmed down.
I talked to him, saying, “I see you’re scared about the movie. Let’s tell your teacher, so you can stay in a quiet room when they show it.”
He said, “Yes,” and put on his shoes.
No more yelling, no more tears.
Just understanding.
Why This Matters
Kids often don’t have the words to say, “I’m scared,” or “I’m tired,” or “That noise hurts my ears.”
So they act out instead.
When we guess the real need, we can fix the actual problem.
It’s like turning on a light in a dark room.
Next time your child melts down, ask yourself: “What might they be feeling or needing right now?”
You might see they need a hug, a break from noise, or a snack.
3. Step 2: Settle Them Down First (S)
When children go into a meltdown—crying, screaming, or hitting—they can’t reason.
Their brains are in “fight or flight.”
They can’t hear calm words like “Stop whining” or “Use your words” because their bodies are flooded with big emotions.
We can’t teach or talk logic until they’re calmer.
My Rattlesnake Memory
I remember seeing a rattlesnake as a kid.
I jumped so high, I surprised myself.
That was my body’s fight-or-flight response.
Children do this, too, whenever they feel threatened or super upset.
We cannot force them to be calm; we can only guide them gently and be their safe place.
How to Calm Them
- Stay near if they let you.
- Speak softly, “I’m here. You’re safe. I know you’re upset.”
- Offer help: “Do you want a hug or some quiet time?”
Sometimes they want you close, sometimes they need space.
Key Point
Until your child is calmer, they cannot learn new ways to act.
So hold the boundary but do it calmly, and wait until the storm passes.
Then, you can move on.
4. Step 3: Equip Them With Better Ways (E)
After the tears and screams quiet down, your child can listen.
This is your chance to teach.
You can show them how to say, “I’m scared,” or how to ask for a break.
You can guide them to use words instead of hitting, or to wait calmly instead of whining.
A Park Story
I saw a dad at the park trying to get his 3-year-old to leave.
He tried warnings and timers, but the child still refused.
I gently suggested a trick: Ask the child to find a small “gift” for a loved one at home (like a leaf or acorn).
When the child heard this, he got excited, picked up an acorn, and walked happily to the car.
Why It Works
We replaced “Stop, we have to leave” with something fun and purposeful.
This gave the child a sense of control and made him feel good.
When children feel like we care about their feelings, they want to cooperate more.
Practice
If your child always fights bedtime, think:
“How can I make it a nicer experience?”
Maybe read a fun book, or let them pick a stuffed toy to hug.
Or if your child hates ending screen time, you could say, “We’ll put the tablet down, then pick our 3 favorite crayons to color with.”
You’re not bribing; you’re guiding them to something else they can enjoy.
5. Why These 3 Steps Make 2025 Calmer
Step 1: Understand the Need
You stop guessing and start seeing the real reason for your child’s meltdown.
Step 2: Settle Them Down
You accept that no real talking happens when they’re super upset.
Step 3: Equip Them
You help them find a better way to act when they’re calm.
This method saves you from yelling or repeating yourself 100 times.
It also helps your child feel loved and safe, even when rules stand.
A Personal Note
I’m a mom of twin boys, one with autism, plus I have autism and ADHD myself.
Life can get really crazy.
But these 3 steps changed everything for me.
It let me see past the noise and tears.
It let me focus on the need, keep calm, and then teach at the right moment.
6. A Quick Review
- Look for the Need under the behavior (like fear, sensory overload, or hunger).
- Help Them Calm Down before trying to fix or teach (use gentle words, closeness, or a calm corner).
- Teach the Skill they need once they’re calm (show them the right words or actions instead of the meltdown).
7. Learn More with My Free Class
Want to go deeper with these steps?
I have a Free Class where you’ll discover our signature Parenting With Understanding System.
In this class, you’ll learn how to:
- Overcome Angry Reactions so you can have calm responses during your child’s chaos.
- Communicate Assertively so your child listens, even when you say “no.”
- Raise Emotionally Healthy Children who can face the real world with confidence.
Waking up tomorrow, feeling sure you can handle big feelings, set limits kindly, and enjoy more laughs than tears.
Click this link to sign up and start your journey to a calmer 2025.
You can be the parent you want to be next year.
No more guilt, no more endless conflicts.
When you understand your child’s real needs, stay calm during the storm, and teach them better ways, you create a home where everyone feels safe and loved.
I’ve done it.
Our community of parents has done it.
And you can, too.
Happy new beginnings.
You’ve got this.
Thank you for reading!
Here’s to a peaceful, joyful 2025.
