How to build an environment of communication and trust with your older child with Jessica. 

Hey there! Parenting a teen can feel like you're on a rollercoaster, right? 

One minute everything's smooth, and the next, you're holding on tight, wondering what turn is coming up next.

Today, we're diving into how you, as a parent, can ride this rollercoaster with style, keeping the lines of communication open and trust strong with your teen. So, let's get chatting!

Understanding Your Teen

First up, it's key to remember that teens are in a major growth spurt—not just physically, but mentally too. 

Their brains are like a construction site, especially the part that helps with decision-making and understanding right from wrong. 

At the same time, they're figuring out who they are, what they believe in, and where they fit in the world.

A Real-Life Story: Jessica's Challenge

Let's talk about Jessica. She's a mom, just like many of you, trying her best to guide her 13-year-old daughter through these teen years. 

Her daughter's picking up habits that are raising some red flags—like using language that's a bit too colorful and bending the truth about having a boyfriend. 

Sound familiar? 

Jessica's not alone in this, and her story can shed some light on how to handle similar situations.

Getting to the Heart of It

Jessica reached out to us, HIC Parenting Coaches to understand how to have an honest relationship with her teen. 

Through coaching, it became clear that the key wasn't to clamp down harder but to open up more.

Instead of controlling her daughter’s every move, to see how she can guide her daughter through her decisions allowing her autonomy within boundaries and safety. 

Understanding and empathy could be the secret ingredients to smoothing out the bumps in the road.

Talk It Out

Jessica realized that she should talk with her daughter instead of lecturing her when she found out about the secret boyfriend. 

Find out what "having a boyfriend" means to her daughter, and set up some fair rules together. 

It's all about guiding her to make smart choices, not just dictating what those choices should be.

Tips for Keeping the Communication Lines Open

• Listen More, Talk Less: Give your teen space to share their thoughts and feelings. It's amazing what you can learn when you listen.
• Clear Rules, Good Reasons: Teens are all about fairness. Explain why you're setting certain boundaries, and be open to their input.
• Step Into Their Shoes: Remember what it was like to be a teen? Showing that you get what they're going through can break down walls.
• Be the Example: Show honesty, respect, and openness in your actions. Teens are always watching and learning from you.
• Guide, Don't Control: Encourage your teen to make their own choices, but be there to offer advice and set boundaries. It's a balance between giving them freedom and keeping them grounded.

Want More Help? Listen to this Coaching call

If Jessica's story resonates with you, I encourage you to listen to the latest episode of The Parenting With Understanding Podcast where you can listen to this full coaching session with Jessica and how her HIC Parenting Coach helped her design a plan to open lines of communication with her teen and correct the lying behavior.