Epi #107. Navigating Parenting Differences with Your Partner: A Guide for Parents
Apr 09, 2024
Have you ever felt like you and your partner just can't agree on how to parent?
You're not alone!
Marissa was feeling the same way.
She didn't like how her husband was being too tough with their boys, especially during playtime so she came to HIC Parenting for coaching, and with our personalized guidance, she got the perfect plan to get on the same page with her husband.
This story is for any parent who's trying to find a way to work better with their partner for their kids' happiness and safety.
Back story
Marissa is a mom who stays home with her two sons, one five years old and the other just a baby.
Her husband thinks being tough with the boys will help them be strong when they grow up. But Marissa believes there's a kinder way to teach them without being too rough.
Talking it Out
Marissa and her husband usually talk things over well, but on this, they don't see eye to eye.
She wants to find a way to explain her side so he can understand and maybe they can agree on how to be the best parents for their sons.
The Plan
Marcela, our head coach at HIC Parenting gave Marissa the following plan to have an empowered conversation with her spouse to find agreement on how to raise her boys.
- Pick the Right Time: She'll find a quiet moment when they can chat without distractions.
- Set the Intention: Marissa will tell her husband she wants to find a way they can both be happy with how they raise their boys.
- Acknowledge what’s going well: She'll start by telling him the things she likes about his parenting to open trust and prevent defensiveness.
- Share Her Feelings: Marissa will use "I feel" statements to talk about her worries without blaming her. Ex. “I feel concerned when I see you hit our son.”
- Think of Ideas Together: She will invite the husband to brainstorm ideas to teach their boys kindness without hurting them.
New Ideas
Marissa has a cool idea: their son can give a little tap on the shoulder to show he's ready to play and roughhouse. This way, it's clear he wants to play, and it won't get too rough.
The Big Picture
Marissa's story shows it's possible to find a way to agree on how to be great parents together, even when it seems tough.
Conclusion:
Conflicts over parenting usually arise when there is a lack of communication between parents. By knowing the steps of having an empowered conversation with our spouses, we will have a better chance at getting to agreements that benefit the whole family.
Would you like to listen to this coaching session episode? Don’t forget to tune into the Parenting With Understanding Podcast.
