Epi #111. From reactive to calm During Homework With Addrianne. Parent Support Call.

From reactive to calm During Homework With Addrianne. Parent Support Call.

“I want to be a calm parent but my son refusing to do things whe already knows how to do makes me react in ways I don’t feel proud of.”

This is Addrianne, one of our clients of The Secure Parent Collective, and she came to the Parenting With Understanding Podcast™️ to get personalized guidance from Marcela, Head Coach of HIC Parenting™️ Education. 

On this episode you are going to take the front seat as Marcela Navigates Addrianne towards a more positive experience during her son’s homework.

• Understanding the Root of Reactivity

Our initial discussion focused on uncovering the underlying causes of Adrianne’s stress. It became clear that her reactions were influenced by her own childhood experiences—memories of strict expectations and little patience shown by her parents during her own homework times. 

This revelation was crucial as it highlighted a cycle of reactive parenting passed down through generations.

• Strategic Coaching: Techniques and Insights Offered

1. Identifying Triggers:

- We worked on identifying specific moments that triggered Adrianne’s stress during homework sessions, such as, when her other 3 children are trying to get her attention while she is helping her oldest son with his homework. 

This awareness is critical for preempting negative reactions.

2. Practicing Mindfulness:

- Adrianne was coached on mindfulness techniques to help recognize early signs of stress.

This involves deep breathing exercises, setting a calm physical environment for homework, and using affirmations to maintain a positive mindset.

3. Adjusting Parental Expectations:

- Together, we reevaluated the expectations Adrianne had for her son’s academic performance. 

We discussed setting realistic goals that are age-appropriate and align more closely with her son’s capabilities and developmental stage.

She learned that her 6 year old’s attention span is limited, and she can’t expect him to sit down still for an hour. 

• Practical Parenting Tips Shared During the Session:

1. Structured Homework Time:

- We discussed creating a structured but flexible homework routine that allows for short breaks and incorporates elements of fun to reduce resistance and stress for both Adrianne and her son.

3. Creating a Positive Homework Environment:

- Suggestions were made to alter the physical homework environment to avoid areas that might trigger negative memories for Adrianne. 

This included setting up a dedicated, inviting space in a different part of the home that could help in creating new, positive associations.

3. Empathy and Patience in Communication:

- Adrianne was encouraged to communicate with empathy and patience, understanding that her son’s reluctance or struggles with homework were not a reflection of defiance but rather a normal part of childhood development.

• Long-term Strategies for Sustained Improvement:

1. Regular Check-ins:

- Regular coaching sessions were recommended to help Adrianne stay on track with the strategies we outlined and to adjust them as needed based on her son’s progress and her own emotional state.

2. Parental Self-Care:

- Recognizing the importance of her well-being, Adrianne was encouraged to engage in regular self-care practices. 

This includes time for herself, engaging in activities she enjoys, and seeking support from other parents in the Secure Parent Collective.

• Conclusion: A Journey Towards Secure Parenting

The coaching session with Adrianne not only addressed immediate concerns but also set the foundation for lasting change in her family dynamics. 

By focusing on understanding and managing her triggers, Adriane is now better equipped to provide a supportive, nurturing environment for her son’s educational journey and overall development. 

Her story is a testament to the power of targeted support and the value of communities like the Secure Parent Collective in facilitating real, impactful changes in parenting practices.

To listen to this coaching session, tune in to this episode of The Parenting With Understanding Podcast.™️

Need help remaining calm in times of Chaos?

CLICK HERE to access our Guided Calming Meditation Playlist for Moms as an early Mother’s Day present from us HIC Parenting Education.