Epi #126. How to Balance Parenting and Life While Caring for a Sick Relative

How to Balance Parenting and Life While Caring for a Sick Relative

Navigating the dual roles of parenting and caring for a sick loved one can feel like walking a tightrope. 

I want to share some heartfelt insights from Marilyn Yelder, whose experiences are detailed in her profound book, "Believing Beyond The Diagnosis." 

Her journey as a caregiver for her husband with cancer, while also managing the challenges of being a mom, a daughter, a worker, and a friend offers valuable lessons for any parent in a similar situation.

1. Understanding the Grieving Process

Marilyn opens up about her journey through the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—not just mourning the potential loss of her spouse but grieving the life they had before cancer struck. 

She describes grief not as a linear path but as a spiral, sometimes moving forward, sometimes pulling you back.

Imagine managing everyday tasks—taking your kids to softball practice, attending parent-teacher meetings, or grocery shopping—while wrapped in this emotional rollercoaster. 

It's okay to feel overwhelmed. 

Marilyn reminds us that every caregiver's path is unique and that it’s perfectly normal for your emotional journey to be messy and non-linear.

2. Finding Your People

During her most challenging times, Marilyn learned that not everyone who stands by you in health will be there in sickness. 

She felt abandoned by some she considered close but found this as a cleansing of her social circle, focusing on those who truly supported her. 

Her story emphasizes the importance of building a community that uplifts and sustains you, especially in your most challenging hours.

For parents juggling caregiving and parental duties, Marilyn’s advice is to open up about your struggles. 

It might be at a yoga class or a casual coffee meet-up. By sharing your story, you invite others to provide support, even if it's just a comforting word or a thoughtful message. 

Finding your tribe is about connecting with those who understand and empathize with your journey.

3. Holding Onto Faith and Finding Purpose

Marilyn credits her faith as a cornerstone that held her family together through tumultuous times. 

It provided a framework of hope and resilience, not just for her but also for her children. 

They drew closer, supporting each other through prayer and mutual encouragement during their father’s chemotherapy sessions.

Seeing her caregiving role as a chance to deepen her faith and trust in a higher power allowed Marilyn to impart a sense of security and optimism to her children. 

This collective strength helped her family not only to cope but to be unified amidst adversity.

Conclusion: Embracing the Messy Middle

The journey of a parent-caregiver is never straightforward. 

Some days might end with nothing but managing a quick dinner or collapsing into bed after a long day. And that’s okay. 

Marilyn’s story teaches us that our best effort is enough and that self-compassion is crucial.

Remember, you are more than just a caregiver or a parent; you are a human navigating incredibly complex emotions and situations. 

Allow yourself grace during the rough patches and celebrate the small victories.

Life gets messy, especially in the middle of a crisis, but as Marilyn found, there is always hope, always a chance for growth and renewal. 

Keep sharing your story, reaching out for support, and, most importantly, believing in the strength of your family and your community.

Stay strong, stay open, and let yourself believe in the possibility of peace amidst the challenges.

Click Here to Get Believing Beyond The Diagnosis by Marilyn Yelder.