Mastering After-School Transitions: Tips for Neurodivergent Families

Parenting is never a walk in the park, but when your child walks through the door after school, do you feel like you're navigating a minefield rather than a welcome reunion? 

If after-school hours feel more chaotic than calm, especially with neurodivergent children involved, you’re certainly not alone. 

Today, I'm going to share my personal experiences and insights on smoothing these transitions, not just for your child's benefit but for your peace of mind too.

Hello, I’m Marcela Collier, your guide on this journey through the Parenting with Understanding™️ podcast. 

Let’s dive into the practical steps that can transform after-school transitions from a battleground to a peaceful, joyful time of reconnection.

Section 1: Understanding the Transition Challenge

Imagine a typical school day from your child's perspective, especially if they are neurodivergent like my son, or like myself. 

The structured, often rigid environment of school can be draining. 

Then, they return to their safe space—their home—and suddenly, everything we ask of them feels overwhelming. 

A mom I coached described how her kindergartener struggled just to hang up her backpack and wash her hands, leading to tears and frustration for both of them. 

This isn’t just about disobedience; it’s about a child’s urgent need to reconnect with their comfort zone.

Section 2: Aligning Priorities

My approach begins with understanding that my children's immediate needs after school aren't about chores or routines. 

They need to feel grounded again, to reconnect with me, their pets, and their home environment. 

If my son wants to cuddle, the backpacks can wait. 

Addressing their emotional and sensory needs first eliminates many power struggles that arise from misaligned priorities.

For the mom I mentioned earlier, ensuring her daughter washed her hands was non-negotiable due to a younger sibling at home, but the backpack could wait. 

We brainstormed practical solutions, like using child-friendly, chemical-free wipes in the car before they even reached home. 

This simple strategy cut down the stress for both mother and child, allowing them to focus on reconnecting rather than correcting.

Section 3: Sensory Needs and Reconnection

For neurodivergent children, sensory overload at school can lead to a need for physical activity or downtime once home. 

My twins, for instance, need to jump on their trampoline or ride their bikes before they can settle down. 

Recognizing and facilitating these needs can prevent the “mischievous” behaviors often mistaken for acting out but are actually ways of coping with sensory demands.

Section 4: Empathetic Parenting Strategies

Every behavior is a form of communication. 

A child refusing to follow after-school routines is likely expressing an unmet need. By viewing the situation through an empathetic lens, we understand that what might appear as non-compliance is often a child's way of signaling their needs. 

When we meet these needs first, cooperation naturally follows.

Section 5: Practical Tips for Smooth Transitions

1. Allow Downtime: Give your child a buffer period between school and home responsibilities to meet their sensory and emotional needs.   

2. Adjust Expectations: Be flexible with routines. If something can wait, let it wait.   

3. Communicate: Talk to your child about their day and allow them to guide the after-school activities occasionally. This can make them feel heard and valued.

4. Prepare Sensory Activities: Have activities ready that meet your child’s sensory needs right after school, such as a mini trampoline session or quiet time with a favorite book or toy.

Conclusion: Embracing Understanding and Flexibility

Navigating after-school transitions effectively requires a blend of understanding, flexibility, and proactive parenting. 

By prioritizing our children's needs over rigid routines, we not only make our homes more peaceful but also empower our children to manage their transitions better. 

It’s about finding a balance that works for everyone involved, ensuring that the after-school hours are as rejuvenating as they are joyful.

Remember, each child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. 

It’s about tuning into your child’s specific needs and crafting a routine that respects their individuality while maintaining household harmony.

Would you like to raise emotionally healthy children but struggle to stop yelling and reacting out of frustration? 

CLICK HERE to access our free Class to learn the Parenting With Understanding™️ System to Break Free from reactivity, bring peace to your parenting and raise emotionally healthy children. 

✅You will learn our signature Parenting With Understanding system to overcome angry reactions and have calm responses during your children’s chaos.

✅Gain an understanding of what you need to communicate assertively with your children so they listen to you even when you give them a “no.”

✅Know what is needed to raise emotionally healthy children who can face the real world with confidence and self-accountability.

For more insights and support on your parenting journey, tune into this week's episode of the Parenting™️With Understanding podcast, where you are able to hear my story on how I am navigating after school transition with my children, one of them being neurodivergent.