Epi #28. Getting Real About Our Parenting Fears

Getting Real About Our Parenting Fears 

Hello again, Cycle Breakers, and happy October! In honor of Halloween, we’ve decided to dedicate this month’s podcast episodes to all things fear-related. In today’s episode, we’re letting you all in on our biggest parenting fears.

Is “Messing Up” Your Kids One of Your Fears?

It’s common for us to wonder whether or not we’re doing this parenting thing right, especially when we’re trying to break generational cycles that only serve to harm the parent/child relationship. As hard as we may try not to, we might momentarily slip back into old patterns of losing our patience and yelling, then fearing we’ve caused them trauma from our dysregulation. 

We’ve found that the more we learn about child development and arm ourselves with the proper, helpful tools, the less likely we are to resort to those old ways. Therefore, we encourage you to immerse yourself in respectful parenting podcasts, free masterclasses, programs, workshops, etc. The goal is to become better educated about child development and respectful parenting, so that you can expand your perspective and parenting toolkit. Then, you’ll gain more confidence in your parenting and worry less about “screwing them up”. There’s an abundance of info, (free and paid) at our disposal, so let’s be proactive and use it!

Afraid that Raising Them with Gentle Parenting Won’t Prepare Them for Those Who Won’t Be Gentle with Them in the Future?

Society tells us that they won’t be prepared when they go into the “real world”. Fun fact: this IS the real world; they’re already in it! Our kids are already being exposed to ungentle, unkind people: certain family members, teachers, coaches, and peers…just to name a few. We’ve witnessed our kids in those environments and they held their own. Because they know how it feels to be respected, they can immediately pick up on when they’re being disrespected by others and have the tools to speak up for and defend themselves, civilly.

What’s more, as they grow into teens and young adults, they’ll be less likely to fall victim to trauma-bonding and better able to identify abusive behaviors from their partners, instead of equating hurt or pain as a byproduct of “love”. When kids are abused in any way and told it was done in “love”, for their “protection, etc., they become conditioned to believe that romantic partners who hurt them, love them. It becomes normalized and gives way to lifetime cycles of toxic, abusive relationships. 

Afraid of Raising A “Snowflake”?

One of the biggest criticisms towards gentle parenting is raising kids who’ll be too weak, fragile, and afraid to function as a productive member of society. They’ll expect others to coddle and cater to them. Actually, this couldn't be further from the truth! When you honor, validate, and hold space for your children’s emotions, you’re modeling healthy, appropriate ways to express and work through those big feelings. It teaches them emotional maturity and intelligence, leading to emotional stability during life’s storms.

For some reason, respectful parenting is seen as a parenting style that lacks discipline and accountability, where we take a hands-off approach, letting our kids run a muck. This is false! Parenting with understanding™ is very much hands-on because we’re constantly, proactively, problem-solving and modeling for our kids how to do the same — without violence, shame, or insults.

Remember, by upholding healthy boundaries and treating our children with respect, we’re building them up for interpersonal success, among other things. So, we can exchange our fear for confidence in their abilities to successfully navigate any trouble that comes their way.*

If you’re interested in calming your fears about how you’re raising your kids, I encourage you to register for my masterclass, “The 3 Secrets to Parenting Without Punishment or Giving In”. It’s happening on Friday, October 7th, 2022, at 7pm EST on Zoom. Just click the link below to register:

The 3 Secrets To Parenting Without Punishment Or Giving