Epi #40: Gentle parenting when you feel outnumbered. Part 2 (Coaching Session)
Dec 27, 2022
Hi, Cycle Breakers! Today’s episode is the continuation to last week’s coaching session with Francesca, an Italian mom of 2 who’d like to speak more kindly to her kids so they see her with loving eyes, instead of perceived disappointing ones. However, she often finds herself stuck in a cycle of reactivity since she constantly feels overwhelmed, especially because her husband is away a lot for work. 😰
Picking Up Where We Left Off
In last week’s episode, Marcela helped Francesca uncover the root of her feelings of inadequacy: her older brother’s dissatisfaction with her efforts whenever she joined him in a game. Regardless of how hard she tried, it was never good enough to meet his standards. 🥺
Marcela gently reminds Francesca that she’s always been enough & is an adult now, with resources & a parent coach to help her through any obstacle. Then, she does a visualization exercise to reinforce this new, expansive belief. 💆🏻♀️
Francesca mentioned that she often feels stress on her neck muscles, so Marcela asks her to massage her neck as she imagines her thoughts of inadequacy melting away. At this point, Francesca confesses that it’s easy to say these things about herself, & she wants to believe it, but feels like she can’t until she’s experienced it for herself first. 🔍
Developing Awareness
Marcela understands Francesca’s perspective & reminds her that it’s something she’ll have to work on everyday. First, with awareness of her feelings. Then, recognizing her nervous system’s reactions to her limiting beliefs. 🕵🏻♀️
When this happens, she should do a grounding exercise: moving her body a certain way, holding onto something, applying pressure, or splashing cold water on her face. Francesca shares that she enjoys the sensation of being hugged & breathes a certain way through them, so she agrees to breathe that way whenever she feels defeating beliefs & overwhelming stress creeping up on her. 🌬️
Marcela’s goal was to equip Francesca with the tools to switch her thinking because it’ll take more than one coaching session to permanently change those beliefs. Then, they engaged in a role-playing exercise, where Marcela acted as Francesca & Francesca acted as her kids. This served to help Francesca understand what needs they’re really trying to communicate beneath their behaviors & hurtful words. 💡
Wrapping Up
Francesca described this coaching session as comfortable & laid-back, yet eye-opening & informative. She also described feeling exhausted, but relieved about everything it brought up for her from her past that applies to her present. It gives her hope for what’s to come. 🤞🏼
