Epi #76. How to Gentle Parent When Gentle Isn't Your Default Setting
Sep 05, 2023
You've probably scrolled through social media and seen it: parents speaking to their children in hushed, gentle tones.
They never seem to raise their voice, and each interaction feels like it's straight out of a fairy tale.
The idea of not yelling at your kids is appealing, but what if sugar-coating things isn't your style?
What if, by nature, you're louder? Can the gentle parenting approach still work for you?
Absolutely! It's all about adaptation.
In this piece, we'll dive into how you can mold gentle parenting principles to suit your intrinsic personality.
#1 What is Gentle Parenting?
First, let's demystify the concept.
Gentle parenting focuses on mutual respect, understanding, and connection.
It's not about being soft-spoken always, but rather understanding and addressing the emotions beneath a child's behavior.
#2. Acceptance is the First Step
If you are naturally louder rather than soft-toned, that's okay. Everyone's parenting journey is unique.
Recognize your strengths and be open to tweaking your approach where needed.
#3. Recognize Your Triggers
It's easier to react gently when you understand what makes you snap.
Identify situations or behaviors that challenge your patience.
Knowing your triggers lets you strategize on how best to handle them.
#4. Mastering your calm
Being quick to react might be your default, but with some strategies, you can respond rather than react:
- Understand the root of your reactivity. It could be sensory needs, it could be childhood wounds, it could be burnout, it could be anxiety, depression, hormones, and all the above.
-Once you understand the root of your yelling cycle, the next step is to strategize in advance how you will take care of yourself and manage your triggers so you don’t default back to your process of reactivity.
#5. Keep the Channels Open
Share your parenting goals with your children. This transparency helps them understand your intentions and shows them that everyone is a work in progress.
#6. Equip Yourself
Knowledge is power. Dive into books or articles that focus on gentle parenting. This investment will provide you with a toolbox of strategies for various situations.
The Break The Yelling Cycle Course will show you exactly the root of your yelling cycle and how to overcome it.
#7. Active Listening is Key
Before jumping to conclusions, listen.
Sometimes, all a child needs is to be heard. Their perspectives can offer enlightening insights into their behavior.
#8. Validating Doesn't Mean Coddling
Recognizing your child's emotions doesn't mean you're indulging them.
Simple acknowledgments like, "I understand you're upset," can go a long way.
#9. Boundaries Matter
Gentle parenting is not boundary-less parenting. Communicate your limits but in a constructive, understanding manner.
#10. Reflect and Grow
Parenting is a journey. Regular check-ins with yourself help identify areas you're succeeding in and areas that need a little work.
#11. Self-Care is Essential
Even if relaxation isn't your default, find activities that rejuvenate you. This isn't just beneficial for you but for your children as well.
Wrapping It Up
Gentle parenting doesn't require changing your personality; it's about tailoring an approach that nurtures a trusting relationship with your child.
The key is consistency, understanding, and patience - with your children and yourself. Remember, perfection isn't the aim; growth is.
But here's some good news: Get Personalized Guidance: Join Our Live Q&A Zoom Session!
Here’s what you can expect from the session:
- Direct Access: Engage in a face-to-face conversation with a certified HIC Parenting Coach. No generalities, just direct advice.
- Tailored Solutions: Every child, every parent, and every family is unique. Get strategies and tips that align with your specific situation.
- Safe Space: Share your worries, challenges, and questions in a judgment-free zone. We're here to support, not judge.
- Collective Wisdom: Benefit not just from the coach’s expertise but also from the shared experiences of other parents in the session. Sometimes, the most enlightening insights come from fellow parents walking a similar path.
